Married Ladies Allegedly Want to Bang Eli Manning

Some of you may care about the outcome of the upcoming Super Bowl (unless, like many, you're already convinced of the grossness of both teams and are rooting for Legionnaire's disease). However, as always, cheating website Ashley Madison is asking the tough questions: who would married ladies rather do, Eli Manning or Tom Brady? Oddly, 54% of women picked the doofy Manning because of his supposed "boy next door" looks. Shutdown Corner theorizes that ladies might also feel threatened by sleeping with a man who's also been with Gisele Bundchen. Sadly, Ashley Madison did not calculate the percentage of women who would rather contract Legionnaire's disease than have sex with either quarterback; we suspect that number might be high.