Newt Gingrich Won't Attend Next Freestyle Debate Battle Unless Audience Will Cheer for Him

Magniloquent human fart Newt Gingrich has risen like hot air to the top of the polls in the race for the Republican Presidential nomination. People who get paid to talk about politics on the teevee say that this is due to his debate performances. But now, Newt says that unless the audience is allowed to cheer after all the fire he spits, he's going to refuse to show up for debates, take his ball, and go home. You show 'em, Newt.

During last night's debate, moderator Brian Williams instructed the crowd to remain silent until commercial breaks, per event sponsor NBC's rules. This was presumably to make sure that candidates were able to do more debating and less mugging for the crowd and jeering crotch grabs, but it threw Gingrich for a loop, because Newt Gingrich is nothing if not pathologically dependent on constant praise and approval.

The former Speaker of the House told Fox and Friends this morning that NBC's decision to limit clapping amounted to stifling the audience's freedom of speech.

I wish in retrospect I'd protested when Brian Williams took them out of it because I think it's wrong. And I think he took them out of it because the media is terrified that the audience is going to side with the candidates against the media, which is what they've done in every debate.

NBC discouraged clapping, then, because they were worried that Newt would launch into another one of his patented anti-media battle raps, like that totally awesome scene from the last South Carolina debate when Gingrich opened by pointing out that CNN's John King had attended Cranbrook, that's a private school, and dropped the mic after telling the other candidates "fuck this battle, I don't want to win, I'm outtie. Here, tell these people something they don't know about me."

Wait, never mind. That wasn't a Presidential debate; that was 8 Mile.

Newt D-O-double G further threatened to "serve notice" to networks sponsoring future debates that stifling applause in any way, shape or form, which he's totally not going to do, because he needs the debates to remind people that he's more than just a philandering wad.

Please don't retire, Newt. The rap game needs you.

Gingrich threatens to skip debates if audience can't participate [NYT]