Newt Gingrich Loved America So Much that he Needed an Open MarriageS

In a bombshell game changer of an interview set to air tonight, Newt Gingrich's second ex wife Marianne reportedly dishes about the unsavory proclivities of the Presidential candidate before and during their split in the 90's. Among the revelations? Newt asked her for an open relationship so he could go fuck his mistress with abandon, because he was frustrated that she "wanted him all to herself." Ew.

The teaser clip is an excerpt from ABC's interview with Marianne Gingrich, and people are abuzz about what she might reveal; she's said in the past that she had enough dirt on him that she could end his career with one interview, and the timing couldn't be more perfect: her husband's creeping up in polls as the South Carolina primary grows every closer. A bombshell now and his campaign may never recover. Well deployed, Marianne.

According to the former Mrs. Newt Gingrich, he asked her if she'd be willing to "share" him (ugh ugh ugh ugh) with other women. She was horrified and declined his request, in spite of his insistance that his mistress didn't care what he did with other people. Newt eventually ran to the arms of his mistress, Callista, to whom he is now married.

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Back up for a hay-second. If I am picking up on what MariG is putting down, I believe she just indicated that Callista was totally fine with having an open relationship. Does that mean that they're still having an open relationship? And, if so, who in their right mind is touching Newt inside the pants?

On the other hand, Gingrich has proven himself to be kind of a remorseless liar (who once blamed his serial philandering on "loving America" so much). He proposed to Marianne before he'd divorced his first wife, and his first wife didn't know they were getting divorced until she was recovering from uterine cancer. He campaigned for family values while carrying on a six-year-long extramarital affair. He may have told Marianne that Callista was fine with him seeing other people but told Callista that he was ending things with his wife.

On the third novelty hand that I keep around for practical jokes, maybe Marianne's lying to make the guy who dumped her for a 32-year-old look even more like a piece of shit.

On the fourth hand, when it comes to mistress names, no one does it like Presidential candidate mistresses. Callista Bisek? Rielle Hunter? Top notch mistress names.

Trying to consider all the possibilities, motivations, and skullduggery that may or may not be afoot in and around Newt Gingrich's penis is like playing chess against a tag team of drunk bonobos, but until everyone gets sick of talking about this, we're going to have to keep talking about Newt's little Newt. Brace yourselves.

Newt's wife says he asked for an open marriage [NYT]