In recent developments on the quest to slow your inevitable march towards death, aestheticians are still marketing snake venom facials as an alternative to injectables. These facials use an engineered serum meant to mimic the muscle-paralyzing effects of actual snake venom and leave you with that much-desired frozen glow. Yes. They want you to use the same substance on your skin as a snake uses to demobolize its prey so it can then eat it alive. If that doesn't appeal to you— first of all, you crazy— you could always try a nutrient rich placenta facial instead. Or, as a budget conscious alternative, use your own menstrual blood.