Shreveport is a city in the Northwest corner of Louisiana you're most likely to recognize as the vague urban setting of a two-star movie because it's the place Hollywood filmmakers go to make par, sub-par, and crappy movies, the most infamously crappy of which was the screen adaptation of Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. However, if the very specifically titled Caddo Parish District 3 Commissioner Michael Williams has his way, Shreveport will earn perhaps an even greater ignominy as the city that banned pajamas...in public.
For all you pajama-wearing vagrants thinking of trolling Shreveport's streets, the city has instituted a ban on sagging, which it defines as "wearing pants below the waist in public." 2011 saw 31 incidents of sagging and before you form any opinion about what a number like that could possibly mean in this context, consider the fact that some poor dope who's both in charge and the sole member of the sagging task force has already started tallying the 2012 sagging numbers in a precinct basement with the hope that his diligence will one day lead to real detective work.
Williams embarked on his crusade to stem the tide of the ever dipping belt line in, of all places, a Walmart where he caught a fleeting glimpse of a young pajama-wearing man's untethered genitals. Deploying the ever-popular slippery-slope argument, Williams insists that pajamas are totally inappropriate for public promenading because they're "designed" (as if a NASA program had fabricated pajamas to sustain the deep shame and disappoint of a middle-aged man's boudoir) "to be worn in the bedroom at night" with all the lights off and the shades pulled down:
If you can't (wear pajamas) at the Boardwalk or courthouse, why are you going to do it in a restaurant or in public? Today it's pajamas. Tomorrow it's underwear. Where does it stop?
Apparently, Commissioner, it doesn't stop. One day you'll wake up and everybody will be walking around in pajamas and the next they be flaying themselves in the middle of the streets because their skin is just too constricting. To be fair to the modest commissioner, wearing pajamas in public is a little lame, but participating Shreveport citizen Khiry Tisdem may have offered the most cogent argument in favor of pajama-wearing:
I wear my (pajama) pants anywhere. I'm an American, and I can wear my clothes anywhere I want. I'm a grown man. I pay my own bills, so I can wear my clothes the way I want. I don't know why it's an issue.
Party on, Khiry.
Caddo commissioner pushes for pajama prohibition [Shreveport Times]
La. lawmaker seeks pajamas-in-public ban [USA Today]