Celebrities seemed a little more daring with their gowns on last night's red carpet, which happened to result in more misses than hits. These fashion statements have a lot of explaining to do.
One of the few highlights of the evening was Kelly Osbourne's orange and cream gown and futuristic, cubbyhole shoes.
Maybe I'm just partial to stoners, but I absolutely love what Miley Cyrus is wearing. The front manages to walk a tightrope of classic Hollywood and sexy boobs, while the sides have these fun, weird plastic neon things, that appear to be made from old rolling machines.
Glorious tits aside, Demi Lovato's creamsicle Marchesa dress is kinda cheesy, although she gets points for her Sue Ellen Crandell-style above-the-knuckle rings.
Hot pink was a trend worked by Ginnifer Goodwin, Kathy Griffin and Rachel Crow, with Ginnifer's bell sleeves and asymmetrical purse being one of my favorite looks of the night.
Red was another popular color, worn by Faith Hill, Kristen Bell, and a very pregnant and very adorable Alyson Hannigan.
Ooh, look: A dress made entirely of thousands of tampon strings. Lea Michele must've bought this on Etsy.
Sequins can be tricky, and while emerald green is really suited to Whitney Cummings' coloring, the belt seems like a last ditch effort to cinch in an unflattering dress. Angela Kinsey looks like an O.C. Housewife attending a dinner party at a house that her friend can't afford to pay the mortgage on. And then there's Sharon Osbourne, who looks weighed down by way too much material.
I don't have anything against goth, because I actually think it can be done quite elegantly, but everything about Pauley Perrette's style just screams "MALL." Do you know that this is the first time I've ever looked at a picture of Vanessa Hudgens on purpose where she's actually wearing clothes? Unfortunately, Bridesmaids star Wendi McLendon-Covey's Klingon hair ruins her otherwise slinky, sexy gown.
Years ago I walked into a gay bar in the West Village and some bitchy queen yelled out, "Who let in the tuna?" Jennifer Lawrence's netted/ocean dress is just begging for someone to make an equally tasteless joke about how vaginas smell like fish. You have to be a really confident woman-born-woman to wear something like this. You'd also have to be blind.
Thanks to Ashley Greene, one of those Mowry twins, and Carly Chaikin's wings of Lunestra, it was a bad night for the little black dress.
I wasn't feeling the embellishments on Kaley Cuoco, Jennifer Morrison, or Cheryl Burke, although I did want to stuff a hanging plant in Morrison's dress.
Lucy Hale's dress was reminiscent of a traffic sign. And I kind of just feel bad for Nina Dobrev. Nobody wears green lace on purpose, right? Unless you're a school secretary and it's March 17. I got a PR email earlier today about Miss Teen USA's dress, pointing toward a store online where you can get this look for less, which I found really surprising because I didn't think you could get much cheaper than one-shouldered, baloney-tight mini.
Saving the worst for last, Courtney Coleman looks like one of those girls who's going to an '80s costume party who doesn't actually have an understanding about what the '80s really looked like. Not to be outdone by other women who wanted to wear bows, Grace Johnson's dress had four of them. And then there's Ana Gasteyer: Tragically mixing ruching with a large pattern.