Santorum & Romney Lead Iowa Caucuses In Virtual Tie

Unfortunately you're still going to need those nasty fecal froth jokes you cooked up. Rick Santorum finished first in the Iowa caucuses — by only five votes — following a sudden surge this week. With 99% of precincts reporting, Santorum and Mitt Romney both have 24.6% of the vote. Ron Paul was a close third at 21.5%, and here's the rest of the lineup: Gingrich (13.2%), Perry (10.3%), and Bachmann (5.0%). There's still no word on what delusional conspiracy theory Bachmann's cooked up to explain her loss.