If you stuffed your daughter's stocking with fattening peppermint candies and chocolate Santas this Christmas, you might want to reconsider whether you're really cut out for responsible parenting in light of the fact that Sarah Burge had the foresight to give her 7-year-old daughter the gift that will stave off any threat of sugarplum-induced obesity — a £7,000 (so like a million worthless American dollars) voucher for liposuction.
Little Poppy Burge probably expected such a gift when she bounded down the stairs Christmas morning because her mom, the 51-year-old self-styled "Human Barbie" who's rumored to have spent as much as $800,000 on her own surgeries, gave her a $10,000 voucher for breast augmentation for her birthday in June. Mother Burge has explained that her daughter has "begged" her such a gift and has, with an alarming lack of irony, defended giving her young daughter a voucher now "so she can have it after she's 16, when it's legal." And just in case you thought this was like one of those lame gift cards that's only good at the one store you never go to, Burge insists that, like the breast implant voucher, Poppy can use her new voucher for something else "if she develops naturally."
As so often happens when an irresponsible adult foists a mature-person gift on an immature-child, Poppy's reaction is lost amid the cacophony of her mothers latex body parts squeaking together as she helps her children unwrap their gifts. Oh, no, actually Poppy said something pretty heartbreaking to say about her future-surgery: "I can't wait to be like Mummy with big boobs. They're pretty." Though this all might be lost on her effusive daughter, Sarah Burge has proved once and for all that impersonal, afterthought Christmas gifts (gift cards, vouchers, homemade coupon books, and lottery scratch tickets) always make bad presents.