Somehow when searching for an attorney to defend him against more than 50 counts of child abuse, former Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky managed to find the real-life Lionel Hutz. For the past few weeks, Joe Amendola, who impregnated a teen client and later married her, has been suggesting that the alleged victims in the case are probably making up their claims to get some quick and easy cash. Incredibly, Amendola has managed to make Sandusky even more hated, so you'd think that hiring another lawyer would be a good idea. However, the latest addition to Sandusky's defense team is now under fire for suggesting that Sandusky wasn't raping kids in the Penn State showers, he was just teaching them to use soap.
Earlier this week in an interview with Pennsylvania affiliate WHTM, attorney Karl Rominger tried to explain why Sandusky might have showered with a young boy (aside from his legendary love of aquatic horseplay). He said:
Some of these kids don't have basic hygiene skills ... Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body.
Ah, a perfectly reasonable explanation! Everyone knows that when you encounter a 13-year-old kid who doesn't know how to shower, you can't just explain that they should rub soap all over their body and rinse it off. It's a complex process that requires a demonstration. Rominger added that it isn't all that unusual for guys to shower with the kids they coach. For instance, his college cross country coach used to shower with the team, and that's pretty much the same as a man showering alone with a boy.
Apparently, some people were offended by Rominger's suggestion that Sandusky is just extremely passionate about hygiene, because today he told the Associated Press that he actually isn't saying that's what assistant football coach Mike McQueary walked in on. Rominger said:
I would like to clarify that I am not suggesting that this is what happened in this case ... We maintain that whatever happened between Jerry Sandusky and any youth was not criminal in nature.
So we don't really know why Sandusky was showering with "juvenile delinquents," but his attorney has plenty of other hypothesis! Like, maybe the boy fell and couldn't get up and Sandusky didn't want to get his clothes wet. Or perhaps a strong wind burst through the locker room and Sandusky's pants went flying off. Sure, it all sounds ludicrous, but when is the most likely explanation ever true?