Rihanna is circling the drain according to reports she was borderline breakdown and tried to pull out of a gig in Dublin on Friday night. Feeling a touch under the weather thanks to her 101-date tour and non-stop partying the singer called up her pal Beyoncé for advice, who informed her little money maker — well, she is on husband Jay-Z's label — to strap on a smile and get out there. That, or just do her best and have a really long sleep after. "It's a mix of exhaustion and stress," said a source. "She's been partying hard to take her mind off things, but there are days when she wakes up and doesn't even know where she is because of the travelling. It's no wonder she is feeling down." [MTV]
She's a Duchess now, so clearly every little detail of Kate Middleton's life is up for grabs - hearsay and conjecture included! Stating that she should be a haggard cow for smoking and sun-baking, this solid piece of investigative journalism goes on to suggest she uses bee venom and sneaky hidden braces to help get that picture ready but not "film star" perfect look. Charming. [Daily Mail]
Living proof that it does indeed get insanely better, Charlize Theron says she was picked on in school because she wasn't one of the popular girls. "I wore really nerdy glasses because I was blind as could be and the boys didn't like [me]. I didn't have any boyfriends, but lots of crushes," she said, including her stalker-y one on another girl. "I wasn't in the popular crowd. There was a really popular girl at school and I was obsessed with her. I mean you would go to jail for that stuff today. I was in tears one day because I couldn't sit next to her." [People]
From the vials of blood to keeping her kid's plasters in a jar, Angelina Jolie is helping keep tabloid writers employed by revealing that she once wanted to be a funeral director. "It sounds like this very strange, eccentric, dark thing to do but in fact I lost my grandfather and was very upset with his funeral," she said. "How somebody passes and how family deals with this passing and what death is should be addressed in a different way. If this whole acting thing didn't work out that was going to be my path." Expect this one to be splashed across covers in Wednesday's Midweek Madness. [Vulture]
In more 60 Minutes gossipy goodness, Ange reveals she will "never be as good a mother as" her own. [US]
But Ange is still having another kid, reportedly/allegedly. [Evening Standard]
Determined to get your week off to an unsettling start, Ryan Gosling continued in his mission to prove he's just not that into you, by dragging imaginary homewrecker Eva Mendes to more Parisian hot spots. Living life like a high-budget karaoke film clip by buying his lady friend a single rose from a vendor at the Eiffel Tower. [Radar]
- Jennifer Lopez shows what she's got to be thankful for as she snuggles, canoodles and, yes, cosies up to her post-Marc Anthony plaything, Casper Smart on their extended Thanksgiving vacation. Sure, he may have a touch of the K-Fed's about him but at least girl is getting her own. [TMZ]
- People are trying to make Demi Moore out to be a bad mom because she skipped out on daughter Tallulah's old-timey debutante ball in Paris. How dare she want some privacy in the wake of her divorce announcement?! Won't somebody please think of the children, et cetera. [US]
- After all but outing herself as a massive stoner, Miley Cyrus's pal Kelly Osbourne has leapt to her defense, via the Twitters: "u guys if @MileyCyrus is not recording/filming/touring she is works everyday how could she possible do all that if she was a stoner! #think." [TMZ]
- Surprise! A naked yoga instructor causes fake problems in Kim Kardashian's fake marriage. [Daily Mail]
- Ben Affleck is the latest one to out himself as a member of the I-got-a-tattoo-anyone-would-grow-to-regret club with this fetching dolphin design. [Daily Mail]
- I know it's going to come as a complete shock to most of you, but try to stay conscious when I tell you that Ryan Phillippe was all over some unnamed blonde woman the other night. [Page Six]
- The enduring battle betwixt the Empire State and Chrysler Buildings – of which I sure many of you are following with baited breath – shows no sign of slowing down thanks to a Spider-Man musical tug of war.
- Sending a shudder of sympathy down the spine of our younger, teen selves, TLC's T-Boz has filed for bankruptcy. Maybe we should put that "Waterfalls" cassingle to bed and buy it on iTunes or some such. [Bossip]
- Delicate flower Ellen Barkin explains why she has a mouth that'd make Beverly Sutphin blush.
- With the turning point television that The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills has become (hats and souls off to you, Andy Cohen), their New York counterparts hope to steal back their ghoulish crown.
- Reading like erotic fan fiction, Penn Badgley recalls the time "40 or 50 Catholic schoolgirls all swarmed me and pinned me up against a chain-link fence." [People]
- Friend of the 'mos President Obama is hitting New York this week to celebrate the demonstrative progress the LGBTI community has made when it comes to ruining heterosexual marriage. [Page Six]
- Though I wish heart surgery on no one, the first part of this headline is downright exciting, Michael Lohan: Struggling To Speak. [TMZ]
- Sorry, Lady Gaga, but your Thanksgiving special was eclipsed by both Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and, gulp, reruns of The Big Bang Theory. [Vulture]
- In news you didn't really need to know, Kelly Rowland speaks of her love for trawling through sex shops. [Mirror]
- Chris Martin has a go at being humble, saying he could never go solo because he'd end up getting yelled at in front of a supermarket. [The Sun]
- Clearly packing lightly is for amateurs, with Dita Von Teese carting half of her wardrobe through Heathrow. [Daily Mail]
- If someone dropped a bomb on this North London fair, the city's Kate Moss-led too-cool-for-school contingent would be but a memory.
- Natalie Portman is lending her talented face to the people at PETA so they can whack it on a postage stamp in their name. [Just Jared]