Last night's installment of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, 90210 featured a birthday party for Taylor Armstrong's daughter, Kennedy. Taylor pulled out all the stops for a rodeo-themed bash, complete with a mechanical bull (start 'em early, right?). Yet no party, no birthday present, and definitely no song written and sung just for Kennedy could mask the bizarre nature of poor Kennedy's parents. And in true Housewives tradition, this kiddie birthday party was all about the parents. Yes, there were over 70 children invited, but it was just a show, attempting to prove Taylor and Russell's relationship was fine, and what wonderful parents they were. Which, as we now know, they weren't.
The somberness of this family falling apart before our eyes was lifted — just for a moment — with a song from Ace, some dude who was on American Idol a few seasons back and only memorable as that season's token "hot guy." Though none of the other housewives had any idea who he was when Taylor excitedly told them about the performance, it didn't matter: Taylor was too busy flirting with Ace and saying stuff like, "If you were any cuter… you're killing me right now. It's killing me right now! I'm an old woman!"
I'd also like to note that almost the entire party was given a soundtrack of eerie, sad music. Bravo must have dropped it in so that we don't forget that Russell is about to commit suicide. Even Ace crooning "you make every day a birthday to meeee" to Kennedy with a cocktail in one hand was kind of sad. Between the drunken serenade and Kim's X-rated bull-ride, the invitations should have come with a PG-13 warning.
Speaking of invitations, it's nice to know that things are cheerful and bonkers over at the Vanderpump estate! The gang went through invitation samples for Pandora's upcoming wedding. Kevin Lee, Beverly Hills' most ridiculous wedding planner, begged the family to spend $150 per invitation on a gigantic pink box. Like Pandora's Box, get it?