New Law Will Ruin Sexting for Pakistanis

If you were hoping to send the following frustrated text in Pakistan— "Jesus Christ— It's harder than ever to find good chicken breasts these days"— think again. Several words in that sentence have been placed on a list that Pakistan's communications agency says indicate spam, and soon, texts containing those words may be blocked. Also on the list? Sex words, swears, and, curiously, the phrase "monkey crotch." (Or, as you'll soon have to text: "m0nk3y cr0+<h.")

NBC reports that the ban isn't in effect yet, but it will be soon. The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) has called for telecommunications companies to begin blocking texts starting November 21, in accordance with a 2009 law called "Protection from Spam, Unsolicited, Fraudulent and Obnoxious Communication Regulations." Boy, would it be nice if we had legal protection from obnoxious text messages here in the US. Everyone's text happiest ex girlfriends and boyfriends would get arrested.

The Verbal Village of the Banmed includes over 1,000 English words and phrases and 500 Urdu utterances. Some words' inclusion on the naughty list makes sense while others' inclusion is pretty inscrutable. Swear words like fuck and bitch are on the list, but so are phrases like "Jesus Christ," "finger food," homosexual," and "Wu Tang." Pakistan, what have Ghostface, UGod, and Inspectah Deck ever done to you?

A representative from the PTA says that the new text firewall is designed to protect The Children.

In the meantime, here are some words that are included on the banned list.

Athletes foot
Breast
Condom
Flatulence
Intercourse
Monkey crotch
Period
Premature
Tongue
Herpes
Deeper
Fairy
Fingerfood
Back door
Taxi
Hole
Hostage
Harder
Devil
Jesus Christ
Gay
Homosexual
Queer
Wuutang

What sort of crazy offensive child-ruining texts can you come up with?

Pakistan Bans 'Monkey Crotch,' 'Jesus Christ' [NBC]

Filtering SMS: PTA may ban over 1,500 English, Urdu Words [Tribune]