A few years ago J&D's, the makers of BaconSalt and Baconnaise, posted an ad for Baconlube as an April Fool's Day joke. The company tried to move on, but as they explain, "People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built."
Now they've created a limited quantity of bacon-flavored lube and massage oils for troubled individuals who want their lover to taste more like cured pork. You shouldn't be shy about contacting the company because they promise, "We'll make no judgments about why you want this or what you want to do with it." However, you may want to figure out if your partner is interested in breakfast-themed sex before springing this on them.