Justin Beiber Paternity Test Dropped, Woman Maintains Delusional Dream Of Cash Settlement

Good news Beliebers: Your psychotic death threats against the woman who dared to suggest that a teen heartthrob might impregnate a groupie have worked! Mariah Yeater has dropped her paternity suit against Justin Bieber. It turns out she wasn't so confident that her baby is Bieber's once he threatened a countersuit and authorities started talking statutory rape charges. Though her lawyers have quit, Yeater says her dispute with the Bieb still isn't over. She has a new legal team and her attorney says they're putting discussions with Bieber on double secret probation because, "The case is completely out of control and I don't want something terrible to happen to my client or her child." He adds, "She believes Justin Bieber is the father. Right now there's no more interviews for Mariah Yeater, I'm not going to allow that. Secondly, negotiations are going on right now with Bieber's counsel and we're trying to negotiate a private, secure DNA test with the same safe guards that would exist if there were a court order, but without a court order." Sounds like a case for Maury if I ever heard one. [TMZ, Radar]

Justin Beiber Paternity Test Dropped, Woman Maintains Delusional Dream Of Cash Settlement

In other "not the daddy" news, Laura Bellizzi says that Mel Gibson is not the father of her child. She says the "alleged friends" who have been talking to TMZ are "being 100% dishonest in a misguided effort to seek 5 seconds of notoriety and fame." [TMZ]

Justin Beiber Paternity Test Dropped, Woman Maintains Delusional Dream Of Cash Settlement

For just $1,850 a month you can live in the Lower East Side apartment that was once home to an unfamous Lady Gaga! Unfortunately, she didn't leave any freaky art on the walls, but it still looks like a nice place. [Citi Habitats]

Justin Beiber Paternity Test Dropped, Woman Maintains Delusional Dream Of Cash Settlement

A photographer has brought the creepy Prince Harry/Pippa Middleton fanfic to life. In the photos (which are included as an extra on the Bridesmaids Blu-Ray for some reason) Fake Harry grabs Fake Pippa's butt, and later she's shown wearing nothing but his military jacket. [Us]

  • Michael Lohan has been released from jail after making a plea deal with prosecutors. Lohan will spend the next four months in real rehab, not Celebrity Rehab, and will participate in a domestic violence prevention program. If Lohan contacts Kate Major he'll go back to jail for two years. [E!]
  • Jonathan Rhys Meyers was given a one year suspended prison sentence and fined 1,000 euros for threatening to kill three French police officers while he was drunk. [Daily Mail]
  • Southwest Airlines is trying to redeem its homo/fat-phobic image by doing a TLC reality show about what it's like to work for the airline. This will certainly be a smash hit, because after a long day at the office Americans love to think about the heinousness of air travel. [The Wrap]
  • Trey Parker and Matt Stone have signed a deal to keep South Park on the air through 2016, for what will be it's 20th season. [NYT]
  • Emma Roberts just dyed her hair blonde and onced said she's obsessed with Jennifer Aniston's haircut, so now she's an "Aniston Clone." If they're making Jen clones, Angie better have a panic room. [E!]
  • Adele's vocal chord surgery was a success. She wrote on her website, "Thank you for all your positive thoughts and get well wishes. I'm doing really well, on the mend, super happy, relaxed and very positive with it all. The operation was a success and I'm just chilling out now until I get the all clear from my doctors." [E!]
  • Connie Britton has adopted a 9-month-old baby boy from Ethiopia. Congrats! [CNN]
  • Sarah Michele Gellar is on the cover of Shape and inside she preaches being healthy, not obsessing over your weight. She says: "You can't live your life by the scale. We don't even have one in our house. I've never believed in them, because your weight fluctuates. It's more about how my clothing fits than a number. Besides, if you deny yourself everything because you're so focused on the mirror or the scale, then when do you get to enjoy life?" [Us]