Christmas Trees The Latest Front In Imaginary War On Christmas

This week the U.S. Department of Agriculture attempted to implement a plan to collect a 15-cent-per-tree "tax" from Christmas tree growers. The money would be used to create ads promoting the use of real trees, similar to the "Got Milk" and "Beef: It's What's for Dinner" campaigns, as fake trees have reduced sales. Thankfully, Republicans saw right through President Obama's dastardly plan (that was actually cooked up before he was elected and is favored by most of the industry). The Department of Agriculture has decided to reevaluate the plan because it was attacked by several Republican lawmakers. It's a Christmas miracle! Don't forget to raise a glass of eggnog to these American heroes when you're relaxing by your foreign-made artificial tree next month.