Halloween Costumes Your Pet Actually Wants To Wear

We know your dog would look super-cute as a slutty French maid — but we also know she's going to chew that dress off in about seven seconds flat. So here are some ideas for costumes your pet will actually be into.

Box

Cats love boxes every day of the year, so take advantage of this on Halloween. Just put one the ground and wait for her to climb inside, and there you have it. Write "Danger: Wild Animals" on the box if you're feeling fancy. Or turn the box over and tell everyone she's Schrodinger's cat — works even if she escapes, as long as you don't see her.

Garbage can

This one's for a dog. Fill a garbage can with sticky things, like stickers, velcro, and pre-sucked candy. Then put a treat at the bottom and wait for your dog to go all crazy on the garbage can, getting the sticky trash all over himself. Bonus if he'll wear the can on his head for a while. Also works as an Oscar the Grouch costume.

Mud monster

Just let your dog roll in mud. One problem with this one is that no one will want him at your Halloween party.

Roll of paper towels

Let this little guy demonstrate.

Dirty laundry basket

Pretty much the same idea as the garbage can, except this time you put the treat at the bottom of a laundry basket full of smelly socks and gym clothes. Might help if you add in something real staticky like a pair of nylons so that everything sticks to his fur — or you could just rub him all over the carpet first.

Ball of yarn

Put a ball of yarn on the floor. Wait ten minutes. Now your cat is wearing it. Warning: don't do this with cats who like to ingest yarn, as this will lead to an expensive Halloween trip to the vet.

Marie Antoinette

This one is for a guinea pig. Doesn't have to be Marie Antoinette — you could go with Queen Victoria, Martha Washington, Helen of Troy, Cher. The point is, if you have a guinea pig, you should put it in a dress. They fucking love that shit.

Image via Kelly Richardson/Shutterstock.com