What Do Guys Dream About?

Welcome back to Guysourcing, where a panel of helpful gentlemen answer your questions!

This week, we asked guys, "What do you dream about? Do you have more nightmares or good dreams? Do you dream about sex? How often do you remember your dreams? And what's the last dream you remember?" Below, the responses.

Madonna fan

Usually my dreams are pretty good though strange, and I usually remember them for a bit after I wake up until they fade into the abyss. Surprisingly, for someone who often watches porn before bed, I don't really dream about sex. Again, maybe the porn is why. One thing that is a little embarrassing to admit is that I often dream that I'm either at a Madonna concert or hanging out with Madonna and then when I wake up and discover there is no Madonna, I get really sad. I'm such a homo.

Friends with benefits

I dream about everything, friends from near and far. Usually the dreams are good as something new and exciting is usually taking place. I'm in a new place and/or I'm spending time with people I haven't seen in a while. I dream about sex a lot, often times consensual satisfying sex with people I know whom I have not been sexually intimate with in waking life. When this happens I wake up feeling closer to that person.

I remember my dreams rather frequently. If I were to write them as soon as I wake up I'd probably have thousands down by now. The last one I remember very clearly was from a couple days ago. A teacher/friend of mine who had recently moved to Los Angeles was topping me and it felt pretty great. I'd never been sexually intimate with her before, and in my dream it felt natural.

Chucky

It seems I almost always have either nightmares or sex dreams. When I was a kid I always had the same kidnapping dream, in fact most of my nightmares as a kid involved being kidnapped. Not sure if that's normal or not. Nowadays my nightmares are almost always involving some type of horror movie villain, Chucky or some generic haunted doll being the big favorite. Otherwise, major amount of sex dreams, probably because I'm notoriously single, also a good amount of them involve friends which always creeps me out for a period of time.

Sorry to disappoint...

The most important thing to know is that the wet dream is a lie. Or at least considerably overemphasized in sex ed classes. I was both scared of and extremely excited about the prospect of having wet dreams, and the dramatization I watched in sex ed where the junior high school kid gets up in the morning and washes his bedding and his mom's like "What's going on here?" and then "OHWETDREAM it's okay it's natural". Apart from the having to do laundry, which I didn't know how to do at the time, I was way down with the idea that I could have sex while I slept. My dreams were always more realistic than my waking fantasies, so surely my wet dreams would be better than whatever I was imagining while masturbating.

As it turns out, I had at best one wet dream in my entire life and it was incredible! But that was it. Just the one. In the same way that in the back of my mind I still partly believe that my hair has thinned because I masturbated too much as a kid, I always kind of wonder if older generations didn't masturbate enough, so they really did have a lot of wet dreams. I don't think so, though. I've talked to a lot of guys my age about this, though; none claim to have experienced much in the arena of wet dreams.

Endless pork chops

I have more good dreams than nightmares. But, I also have dreams that are neither good dreams nor nightmares. One frequent one is that I dream that I have insomnia and can't sleep. I realize in the morning that I was really sleeping, because there are "tells" - for example I had the insomnia dream last night and during the dream I spent my time not sleeping trying to get to sleep by reading a book I don't actually own. My most common nightmare is a weird one. In it I'm visiting my parents and have been there for about a week or so when I realize that I didn't leave any food for my cat back home and she's probably starved to death. I do have sex dreams. The oddest recurring one of them is that I'm a woman and I'm having sex with Lindsay Lohan. In one of those dreams I was Britney Spears and LiLo was making me do a line of heroin for every 30 seconds she'd go down on me. She told me she wanted to turn me into an addict so I'd always be there to worship her body. Ever since Ringer came back on the air I've also had sex dreams about Buffy and Willow (heterosexual dreams. Oddly, it's always Dark Willow I'm fucking when I dream about fucking Willow.) The last dream i can remember was from last night. It's another one I have all the time. I was eating pork chops and discovered that it was a magical plate of pork chops and no matter how many I ate there was always more.

Sea life

My dreams are usually somewhere between weird and nightmare, but I only remember snippets if they're particularly traumatic or remarkably bizarre. [...] One time I dreamed I was a happy dolphin swimming with my dolphin friends until started drowning — I woke up face down in my pillow.

Thug life

For the past five years or so, the preponderance of my dreams have dealt in badassery of some type. Either I'm chasing someone through back alleys or I'm being chased. Either way, it's an exhilarating way to go about dreaming. And often I know I'm dreaming in my dream state and wake myself up if things get too hairy.

Example: In a recent dream, I was saying bye to my roomie who was heading back up to Maryland to visit family for the holidays. As he was pulling out of the driveway, an old Honda drives into the street with three thug-looking dudes inside. My roommate has to drive over the sidewalk to avoid the other car, and gives them the "Hey!" out of his window. Three dudes jump out, drag him from his car and start to beat him up. So I holler to them to quit. One pulls a pistol and starts toward the house. I look over and see my axe hanging out next to the door (which it does in real life, but only because I split wood with it the other day), and realize that I shouldn't bring a knife to a gunfight — but maybe I could whack Mr. Thug as he comes through the front door. Then I wake up, in a cold sweat, but thinking that was a pretty badass dream.

Getting older

The themes have changed in recent years as I find myself getting older. This is particularly manifested in my dreams of women. When I was younger it used to be more about my girlfriend, a girl I was interested in at the time or some more general fantasy figure, but of late it has been more about girls I have known in the past. However, the dreams were not about my ex girlfriends, but more often girls I knew in my school or college years and in most cases haven't seen for years. In addition to this, they haven't even really been about sex (though that has been an element), but more about some form of relationship and sometimes about settling down and/or having a family with them. I guess this means that in some ways I must finally be growing up after years of just drifting through my personal life.

In a completely different manner I have also been having some dreams about my own mortality. I can only think that this is in some way linked to the fact that I am in the military and will soon be shipping out. I know that the role I will be in out there is reasonably safe and I have been there before, so I shouldn't be too concerned about, but it seems that on some more subtle level part of me is worried. I guess this is only natural as bad things can always happen and I was updating my will recently.

Sex nightmares

Always nightmares. Even if it's a sex dream, it somehow manages to be a nightmare. Or maybe I'm just better at remembering bad dreams and not the good ones. I have one very specific recurring nightmare involving a certain beloved Spielberg alien. Otherwise my teeth are falling out, or I'm falling from something, or getting shot. The rare, normal sex dream is like finding the a rare album, or last perfectly fitting pair of shoes, or whatever, and you keep it to yourself and privately obsess over having it. Then it goes away, as dreams do, and is eventually forgotten. I assume most nightmare dreams are just anxiety and stress battling inside your brain once you've shut down, so that I get, as far as teeth-falling-out stuff goes. But sex nightmares for a single man are terrifying. What does it mean? Feeling immense guilt, shame and embarrassment (but never, like, weird genital mutilation) in a sex dream is a horrible thing to wake up to.

Real estate troubles

[T]o give a sense of the absurdness of my "bad" dreams, I recently dreamed I ate a tomato I liked — I hate tomatoes in real life. In my dream I was appalled because I didn't want to go from someone who hated tomatoes to someone who liked them, betraying all my fellow tomato haters. I decided I was going to hide the truth and live a lie.

When I first moved into my apartment, I had a dream a demon ripped a hole in the wall and ate my roommate. I was very upset, but everyone was like, "It's NY. Get a subletter, stop being such a baby. A demon eating your roommate is not a big deal."

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