Lawsuit Claims Demi & Ashton Aren't Really Married

Ashton Kutcher may have spent his wedding anniversary having unprotected sex with a woman who isn't Demi Moore, but it's possible that doesn't matter because the couple isn't actually married. Sure, they've been living together as husband and wife for six years, but apparently stepping out on your partner isn't such a big deal if the union wasn't legally binding. Some dude who's mad at Madonna for failing to mention his name while wearing a necklace he designed for her is suing Madge, Demi, Ashton, and other Scientologists for racketeering. However, all anyone cares about is his accusation that Demi and Ashton's marriage isn't for reals. The suit says: "Mr. Kutcher made a media circus out of his Kabbalah wedding to actress and hardcore Kabbalah cult member, Demi Moore, who is a longtime friend of the defendant Ms. Ciccone. As the ‘First Couple' of organized Kabbalah, the ‘wedding' presided over by defendant and alleged fraudster, Yehuda Berg — which I am pointing out again was not a private family affair, as all parties used it as a publicity stunt and invited media attention — was not a legal union, nor is the marriage according to California law." Okay, so they file their taxes separately. We're more disturbed to learn via Google search that Kutcher wore a stupid hat during the ceremony in question. [Radar]

Lawsuit Claims Demi & Ashton Aren't Really Married

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are showing off their six-month-old twins on Friday's 20/20. In addition to a pumpkin carriage-shaped crib, apparently being the spawn of Mariah entitles you to impromptu performances of anything from mom's catalogue, so we're pretty jealous. [ABC News]

Good lord, Beyonce did not steal the concept for the "Love on Top" video from New Edition. Maybe the empty studio setting is meant to be an homage, but it's not like New Edition was the first group to dance next to a microphone stand. [Blackbook Mag]

Lawsuit Claims Demi & Ashton Aren't Really Married

Zachary Quinto says he's happy he decided to come out earlier this week, adding, "I never ever imagined that it would be - I mean, I guess I figured people would figure it out, hear about it, but I didn't know it would be like global news! I was like, What? It was really crazy to me. People from all over the world were reaching out to me on the Internet, on Twitter. Social media makes it a lot easier now. I'm just really honored and thrilled and grateful." [N.Y. Mag]

  • Apparently breaking up with Orlando Bloom is particularly hard to do. Kate Bosworth says: "You know when you put all your chips into something, then it disappears? [The break-up] sent me into such pain, I think I had actual vertigo. I was like, 'Is this my new reality? Will anything be normal again?' Then one day. You wake up and you think, OK, I'll never be the same, but I'll survive and I'll grow from it." [Us]
  • Wow. We'd like to think that the article "Why We're Mad Jessica Simpson Won't Address Baby Rumors" is a work of satire, but it's probably just epically douchey. Not only is Jessica rude for refushing to discuss the contents of her womb, she's also preventing us from mocking her weight because "you're not supposed to tease pregnant ladies for getting fat." Of course, teasing non-pregnant women for getting fat is always acceptable. [Yahoo]
  • You didn't think Michael Lohan would let something like the revelation that Lindsay Lohan's teeth are kind of screwed up go by without comment, did you? "I want Lindsay to go into rehab for a year. She needs long term care," says Michael. "Between pictures of her with bad people and her teeth, it is quite evident that her problems have not been addressed or conquered." [Radar]
  • Speaking of Lindsay, the probation officials aren't pushing for her to be sent to jail for getting kicked out of her community service program. [TMZ]
  • But the L.A. City Attorney's office does want her to do more time. [TMZ]
  • Congrats to Viola Davis and husband Julius Tennon, who recently adopted a baby girl named Genesis. [HR]
  • Chord Overstreet and his trouty mouth will be returning to Glee for a few episodes, and it seems the kids may run into him at Sectionals. [E!]
  • At Elle's 18th Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute Reese Witherspoon gave a long gushy speech about Jennifer Aniston that concluded, "There's not that many people actually that have this incredible combination of sex appeal and complete lovabililty. You just want to get your nails done with her, and you want to make out with her at the same time . . . at least I do! First we get our nails done, then we make out! It's totally awesome. That's because she's MY friend, not yours!" [Us]
  • More news from the Elle event: Katherine Heigl and Taylor Swift are now BFFs because Heigl's husband is touring with Swift. "I adore that girl," said Heigl. "I was so excited to meet her! I tried to keep it cool but after chatting for only 20 minutes I was like ‘we're best friends now!' She is so sweet and down to earth." These two should definitely team up professionally. Swift can write the love songs and Heigl can turn them into excruciatingly bad chick flicks. [Celebuzz]