With the exception of 14-year-old boys, most people don't like to talk about what comes out of their bum. Add cancer to the mix and you've got a topic no one wants to touch with a 10-foot poll — unless it's represented by a lovable piece of shit! A woman named Michelle L. Dobrawsky is asking Matt Stone and Trey Parker to allow Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo to become the "spokesturd" for rectal cancer. She writes:
I propose promoting and licensing Mr. Hankey as the official ambassador for rectal cancer. I can't think of a more appropriate spokesturd. As a rectal cancer patient, I spend a lot of time focusing on that particular area, and its particular output. And to generate, painlessly, productively and naturally, a perfect Mr. Hankey, is the goal of my treatment. (That, and not dying.)
Imagine the day when Mr. Hankey's earthy brown visage is slapped onto every ribbon, tshirt, electric mixer, lipstick, football helmet, mouth guard, sneaker, toaster, stapler and every other endorsable, colorable product in the world! I'd be happy with a smart baseball cap, and perhaps a shade of lipstick and a candy bar. But to dream at all is to dream big, right?
Don't forget all the Facebook status updates about the color and consistency of your friends' poo! Since it's all about cancer awareness, surely this will be just as popular as posting your bra color.