Remember the 90s? Remember when politicians first started creating websites for themselves? Do you also remember the innocent time when websites were nothing more than a Geocities account, plain text, basic html, frames, borders, banners and a simple photo of whoever the website was about? Mental Floss remembered the innocent, vulnerable days of yore and used Internet Archive's Wayback Machine to take a look at what some of the pages of potential candidates for the Republican presidential nomination would look like. As it turns out, they look pretty laughable!
Michele Bachmann, Circa 2002
"Every minute we are stuck in traffic is time taken away from our family. We don't have time or money to waste on boondoggles."
— Matt and Laura Dean, Architect and Physician, Dellwood
Bachmann's neon blue website is as patriotic as it is idiotic. Above is a selection from the Quotables section, which has a series of endorsements from locals. Perhaps the most infuriating bit is the button at the bottom of her home page that reads, "Click Here To watch an urgent video message regarding Defense Of Marriage!"
Herman Cain, Circa 1998
Welcome to "The Hermanator Experience!"
Herman Cain's website reads more like that of a celebrity's biography combined with a resume, but one that's trying to make you like the guy. It kind of works! His best section is the Products page, in which you can read about his motivational video tapes and books like "Leadership Is Common Sense" and his inspirational CD "Herman Cain's Sunday Morning."
Mitt Romney, Circa 2002
"My Dad's cousin played professional football for the Chicago Bears. His name was Mitchell, but he went by Mitt. My parents looked up to him, so they gave me his name. It could have been worse — his brother's name was Ott!"
Romney's old web site features a Kids page, written in rainbow-colored text, kind of proves that he's always been pandering for the votes of youth. (Remember when he professed his love of the Twilight series?) It also informs us of his childhood hopes and dreams of becoming a policeman, that his favorite cereal is Frosted Flakes, and his favorite candy bar is Snickers. Another thing learned? He had a kinda funny, kinda crude slogan when he ran for election in 2002:
You can't run for President of the United States with that kind of crass talk now can you?