"I heard that you settled down. That you found a vampire… and you're married now." So begins this cover, sung by someone pretending to be Buff Werewolf Jacob Black and mock-serenading Bella. We're Just 35 days away from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Hymen Part 1 hitting theaters, so do what you must to prepare yourself for Bed-Breaking SparkleVamp Sex. Including memorizing lyrics like, "I hate to turn up out of the woods uninvited/But I couldn't stay away/I couldn't fight it/I had hoped you'd see my abs and that you'd be reminded/that for me it isn't over." Sniffle.