When our girls won the national title in last week's episode, you might have thought it was the shining moment for the the students of the Abby Lee Miller dance school. But what's a national title when you could be shimmying around in neon feathers and hair extensions for a music video? Welcome to the Dance Moms finale. Abby, the dancers, and the moms packed up and went to Los Angeles, where they would participate in a music video for some unknown singer (okay, her name is Lux) who wanted to have a music video filled with little girls.

But one only one of them could be the lead, and the girl had to both look like Lux and be able to dance. And so, it was time for auditions. First of all, when did "Pretend you're on a catwalk" turn into "Prance around like you're a stripper at a night club?" And when did these girls learn such overtly sexual moves? Once I got over how awful it was to see little girls dancing sexually while their mothers cheered them on from the sidelines, I had to admit it was oddly gratifying to see Chloe win the lead role instead of Maddie.