Do you have two hands and a ton of money? Then, according to a random woman from Thailand, you might be able to give yourself slightly bigger breasts. You see, Khunying Tobnom has a special technique, passed down from her grandmother, that involves slapping an area of the body repeatedly to move fat from one area to another. She claims it can be used to add up to two inches to one's bust (except in certain cases where she refuses treatment "because some breasts are too small to be enlarged").

That's right, just deliver a few thousand well-placed blows to your chest and your boobs will swell right up, giving you the sexy cleavage you've always wanted. You might not want anyone to touch your severely bruised bosoms, but you will look HOT.

All in all, it sounds pretty painless (at least compared to surgery), and of course this "hands-on" system is totally organic. The woman in the video swears it is "a one million percent natural beauty treatment," so it has to be safe. Apparently the Thai Ministry of Health has even verified that "repeated massage left clients' breasts measurably bigger." Legit.

The only problem is that Khunying Tobnom is "the only woman in the world qualified to pass on the knowledge," and she is in Thailand. But we are talking about BIGGER BOOBS here. No expense should be spared. Just decide whether you'd like to pay her $380 for six ten-minute sessions (plus airfare to Thailand), or whether you'd like to take the course and learn the technique yourself for the bargain price of $260,000. (You can go all out and learn to slap your whole body, not just your boobs, for $324,000.) Honestly, at that rate, it's probably cheaper to just get knocked up and keep breastfeeding your child until he or she is 18.

Woman Says Slapping Makes Breasts Bigger [NineMSN]