Topman is the latest to join the Fucking Awful T-Shirt Club, offering two new gross t-shirts for your sartorial consumption. The first, and perhaps lesser of the two evils (maybe? But not really), is the Grey Marl Nice Girlfriend Crew that reads: "Nice new girlfriend — what breed is she?"
The second, and arguably worse culprit is the "Red 'I'm So Sorry...' Crew Tee." For the men who want to not-so-subtly let the world know they suck — either because they caused some crappy fight or, as one may infer, violent — the shirt is a steal at $19!
So, let's take a step back and breathe for a second. Now: Are you fucking kidding? C'mon, now. Oh, it's a joke, you say? Then it's a seriously bad joke that rings a little too true to be "humorously" emblazoned across some inarguably stupid dude's chest.
Maybe even worse than the existence of these rags is the fact that you can't even purchase the shirts anymore because it is currently out of stock. It's the Missoni of crap t-shirts! Or, if we want to be super optimistic (i.e., naive), we can hope that just means that Topman realized they'd made a mistake.
If we seem particularly humorless (angry wominz!) about these shirts, it's because (a) they're idiotic and insulting; and (b) they come right on the heels of JCPenney offering a shirt that proclaimed its wearer to be "Too Pretty For Homework" and Forever 21 just released a tee with a similar tone, reading "Allergic To Algebra." And we're thus left some questions: Does the fashion industry have a some kind of secret competition to see who can create the most outrageously offensive graphic tee? Or are they trying to convince the consumer public that girls are bad at math (and/or ugly) and dudes are asshats, and that's just the way it is? Either way, fuck off.