As you may be aware, Beyonce is pregnant with the seed of Jay-Z. After clutching her bump and coyly smiling on the red carpet — silently signaling to the world that she was either pregnant or bloated from hookworm — Beyoncé hit the stage at the VMAs and, before performing "Love on Top," said to the audience, "I want you to feel the love that's growing inside of me." HINT HINT.
During the performance, she rubbed her bump, and her rep later confirmed the bun in her oven, and the world got all giddy and excited. [MTV, ABC]
A pal says, "she simply couldn't wait to tell the world," and that she's about three months along (though others are guesstimating that's more like four months). [Us]
B was all set to star in Clint Eastwood's remake of A Star Is Born, and that still seems to be the plan — but her womb situation will push back the start date. On the bright side, this gives them more time to cast her male co-star. On the less-bright side, Leonardo DiCaprio has already turned down the role. [Deadline]

A heavily bearded Shia LaBeouf was not-so-gently removed from a LA club on Friday after an unpleasant run-in with a friend of Marilyn Manson. The two "exchanged terse words" before the Manson's buddy "lunged over the table at Shia, and Shia lunged back." Because he was trying to put the AllSpark in the dude's chest, obviously. Nevertheless, security dragged Shia outside, where he tripped and fell onto a barricade. A good night for all involved. [Page Six]
Returning to the topic of pregnancies and movie careers and remakes, Hilary Duff — who was set to star in Bonnie and Clyde until she got herself knocked up — netted a $100,000 severance deal after the producers un-cast her. [TMZ]
15-year-old Cody Lohan, the fourth and youngest Lohan sibling, called the cops after allegedly receiving "threatening phone calls." Poor kid. But he's going to write an awesome memoir someday. [TMZ]
As the documentation of celebrities losing the baby weight is mandated by none other than Satan himself, allow me to tell you that Mariah Carey is doing her part by jogging with her five dogs: Cha Cha, Jackie Lambchops, Jill E. Beans, Squeak E. Beans, and JJ. [People]
Garish newlyweds Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' new NYC home, a penthouse at the Gansevoort Hotel, will run a mere $7,000 a night and will feature what is a sure-to-be-tasteful collection of K&K monogrammed towels, sheets, and Champagne bottles. Also, Kim is pissed that People, which paid a modest $1.5 million for exclusive rights to her wedding pics, only put her — and not Kris — on their cover. [Page Six]
Kim was at the VMAs, obviously, but she didn't bring Kris along with her. They must be on the rocks. [Us]
  • While filming a scene with 700 extras, a woman fell and was "nearly trampled to death" — that is, until Brad Pitt jumped in to save her. [NYDN]
  • Meanwhile, his lady Angelina Jolie has signed on for Salt 2 — and supposedly she took one look at the script and suggested that the producers offer a role to Justin Theroux. SHE'S GOING TO RUIN JEN'S LIFE AGAIN. [Janet Charlton]
  • The latest from Halle Berry's ongoing custody battle with Gabriel Aubrey over their 3-year-old daughter: A judge has ruled that the little girl can stay with mom while she's filming on location. [Page Six]
  • Hurricane Irene decimated Sebastian Bach's New Jersey home. [Contact Music]
  • But for all the destruction it hath wrought, Hurricane Irene at least did us the favor of keeping The Situation stranded in Jersey, far away from the VMAs. [Us]
  • Teen Mom star Amber Portwood is out of rehab and back in Indiana. She spent some time with her child, of whom she no longer has custody, while running errands on Saturday. [Radar]
  • Rihanna's father was hospitalized with dengue fever earlier in the month. He's okay now. [Contact Music]
  • Katie Holmes has some chains inked on her wrist, though it is unclear whether it's a real tat. [London Evening Standard]
  • Larry David's new girlfriend, Amy Landecker, was still married when they started getting it on. [Page Six]
  • Tom Jones canceled a concert in Monte Carlo after a heart scare. [Digital Spy]
  • Joan Collins, who has been married five times, on relationships: "The mistake many women make is falling for somebody's looks shortly after they meet them. I think looks are very important but I think friendship and compatibility are the most important things to have. Men? As Jack Lemmon said in Some Like It Hot: ‘What hairy beasts!'" [Daily Express]