Hell with hemlines — the new barometer of trends is now the ass. And this season, the It Butt belongs to Pippa Middleton.
In the most bizarre trend piece I've read in a long time, the Times of London (via the Telegraph) speculates that Pippa has replaced former butt greats J. Lo, Beyonce, Serena Williams, and Kim Kardashian as everybody's gluteal role model. Says plastic surgeon Dr. Constantino Mendieta,
The buttocks have been an increasing and escalating interest over the last four to five years, but the iconic figures were Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian. Both have tremendous curves and large buttocks. While lots of people love the overall shape of those women, many felt those derrières were just a bit too big.
A bit too ... ethnic? Mendieta doesn't go there. Instead, he continues,
[E]ver since the royal wedding, Pippa Middleton has become the new queen of the booty. She opens the doors to those who did not know you could have a small, shapely and perky backside without the large size.
Pippa Middleton opens so many doors for women — she truly is the Susan B. Anthony of butts. But what if you got your ass enhanced back before surgeons discovered this small-yet-shapely revelation? Not to worry — with trends changing so quickly, soon butt alterations will be as common as getting a dress taken in. Just take your butt to the tailor, leave it for a couple of days, and when you come back: voilà! A whole new ass for fall. Of course, you still have to get the new It Nose, which is — surprise! — Pippa Middleton's.