What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

September's here, which means Halloween is right around the corner. And the Wishcraft kiddie costume catalog turned up in my mailbox, with an elegantly undead family on the cover and some interesting costumes inside. Vampires, ghosts and cultural appropriation, oh my! And just when you thought it was safe to take a look, you find that the prices are the scariest part.

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

This catalog has the usual suspects — Alice, Dorothy, Cinderella, Batman, cop, doctor, and a shitload of fairies. But the other stuff is way more interesting. And pricey.

The "Indian Maharani Princess" costume is $78 for the top and sari. $28 for the headpiece, $8 for the bindi, $28 for the necklace, $18 for the earrings, $10 for the bangles and $26 for the jeweled bracelets. The mom's ensemble starts at $108. That's a lot of rupees.

The "Dream Genie" ensemble actually covers the belly, unlike the blue I Dream Of Jeannie get ups I remember girls wearing when I was a kid. ($48)

Just three words for the child bride: Do not want. ($98 for the dress; $25 for the tiara; $14 for the veil; $12 for the "big diamond ring.")

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This YearS

The Marie Antoinette costume is awesome, no lie. But it would be so much better if it came with a wee guillotine.

(Dress, $88; wig, $30; choker, $14; fan, $12; petticoat, $28)

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

The Empress Josephine gown and coat come together for $98. Jailed husband and bad teeth not included.

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

Nope! Sorry. Robin Hood will always be a fox, and Maid Marian will always be a vixen. No humans allowed. Not in Nottingham.

(Robin Hood 2-piece set, $48; hat, $20; armbands, $10; bootcovers, $14. Maid Marian dress, $78; headpiece with veil, $24, cloak, $78)

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

This "Aztec Princess" ensemble might skew slightly Vegas showgirl, but I love it. Blood sacrifices for everyone!

(Dress, $58; feathered headpiece, $34; armbands, $14, cape, $48)

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This YearS

Uh, did someone say showgirl?

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

Let's be honest with each other, shall we? No one will look at that little girl and think "Red Kimono Princess." They will think "geisha." Sad, but true.

Related: Is now a good time to talk about cultural appropriation?

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

How about now?

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

There's a chance that I would have begged for this Cleopatra costume when I was a kid. Instead, I used some eyeliner, an old caftan of my mom's and a scarab necklace around the forehead. Bam. Instant Cleo, for zero cash.

(2 piece set, $79; beaded headpiece, $18; snake armband, $9)

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

Can't snark. Too cute. Send help!

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

Koala paw! Elephant dog!

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

Add up all that stuff in the Michael Jackson costume and you've spent $124. Two words for the Kiss Demon: "CHOKING HAZARD."

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

Coming this fall on MTV: Transylvanian Shore.

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

Coming this fall on the CW: Diablo Bro, the show about a girl forced to attend the same junior high school as her stupid and annoying evil little brother, who happens to be Satan. Airing after The Vampire Diaries.

What Rich People's Children Will Be For Halloween This Year

Spooky casting. I actually feel like these Ghosts Of Plantation Owners Past are fucking judging me. Fuckers.

Wishcraft by Chasing Fireflies [Official Site]