Oh, the humanity! Bachelor Pad 2 kicked off last night and it resumed the narratives for every broken-up couple/cliffhanger we had been waiting for. There was Holly and Michael, who had met through the Bachelor franchise (although not on the same show) who were engaged at one point. But they broke it off, and now were hoping they both weren't cast on the Pad. Spoiler alert: they were, duh. And it was an awkwardly silent reunion. Jackie and "Michelle Money," — two contestants from Brad Womack's season — hated each other and even though they hoped that the other wasn't on the new show, they were so ready to hate each other again.
So this batshit show loosely has a premise: Eighteen former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants will compete in wacky events for the chance of winning a quarter of a million dollars. Last night's task at hand was a challenge called "Hookup," in which a guy and a girl were hoisted in the air and had to cling to each other until someone fell. And somehow, I am already hooked on this crap.
So there was Jake, Vienna, and Casey. Though Vienna has made plenty of enemies (such as Gia, who rants about her above) there was no reunion more awful than hers with Jake. You see, Vienna has gone ahead and gotten herself a new boyfriend: Casey, the guy from Ali's season who got a tattoo for her on the show and was promptly eliminated because, well, that's just creepy. So Casey and Vienna are paired up and ready to win it all — but what they're not ready for is seeing Vienna's ex, Jake. Casey "just wants to punch the guy" and hates him so much that he likens him to fecal matter by saying "I want to take a Jake and wipe my Pavelka." Clever!
Anyway, when Jake arrives everyone flips their shit, but none moreso than Casey. He jumps in right away to introduce himself to Vienna's former fiancé, which isn't at all awkward (enough so that it merited its own gif, at right). The worst part is when Jake sees Vienna for the first time — it's a conversation filled with awkward silences and small talk. How about this weather!