Crystal Harris's very first wedding — and Hugh Hefner's third — had been scheduled for Saturday, but now it may never happen. According to reports, the Playboy Playmate of the Month (December 2009) got into a fight with Hef over the phone. After she hung up, she promptly packed and moved out.
What would make a happy go-lucky 25-year-old gal break up with her rich, famous, 85-year-old boyfriend? Hugh claims Crystal had a "change of heart." But we're skeptical. Something big must have gone down.
- Hugh cheated.
- Crystal realized not having a prenup was a huge mistake.
- Crystal realized that Hef is not actually avuncular TV character Thurston Howell III.
- Crystal realized she was marrying a man who was rather selfish in bed, or, at least, really into taking Viagra, covering himself in baby oil and having a blonde suck his nipple while he watches porn.
- They're not actually broken up: It's a publicity stunt to get better ratings for the wedding special, which is supposed to air on Lifetime July 13.
- Crystal is pregnant and Hugh wants her to get an abortion (This would be the answer if their life were a plotline from The Young And The Restless).
- Crystal had a literal "change" of "heart" when a wise old shaman of an obscure Aztec cult kidnapped her and performed a weird mystical spell splash surgery, giving her the heart of an ancient diety. Crystal — now known as Ayauhteotl, goddess of fog and fame — has renounced her worldly possessions and false lashes and is currently in Mexico teaching children to crochet bikinis.