Good Morning America signed up their fearless product-debunking reporter to find out whether leggings with caffeine in them and a Lady Gaga-esque weight-loss egg will actually help to lose weight.

Wearing $50 leggings laced with caffeine for three weeks will supposedly cut inches from your hips and an inch from your thighs. Spoiler alert! Science says otherwise: your body can't spot-reduce the areas of your body that the leggings are touching (you can't even get those kind of results from frequent exercise.) Lytess, the company behind the magic leggings, still claims "you can lose inches," but don't say that they'll assist with any actual weight loss — just "temporary size reduction and smoother skin." So long as it lasts long enough for a day at the beach, amirite ladies?

Caffeine-Infused Leggings Are Just Fucking With You

If special leggings aren't your jam, why not relax in the totally-not-intimidating Slimcapsule instead? The company behind this contraption also won't suggest their product assists with weight loss, and instead tout "inch loss." What, lubing your body up and hopping into a 180-degree pod for no proven reason doesn't sound appealing? Back to the gym with you, then!