Spencer Pratt Unwanted on Heidi Montag's New Show, Everywhere ElseS

Spencer Pratt, one of the primary architects of the Post-Dignity Era, has been banned from appearing on "Famous Food," Heidi Montag's new reality TV show. The only way for him to stay in the public eye now is to align himself with Bristol Palin or start saying racist things about President Obama and waiting patiently for the Fox News interview offers to start rolling in. [TMZ]
Ronnie of Jersey Shore purchased Rosetta Stone language software as soon as he found out that season four of the reality show was filming in Italy, not because he really wants to connect with his Italian heritage, but because he wants to make sure he knows how to order grilled chicken at restaurants. "I can't be eating pasta every day!" he says. He's going to be so surprised when he discovers that not only do Italians sometimes eat things other than pasta, they also don't use gondolas as a primary mode of transportation or use the phrase "That's-ah spicy meat-ah-ball!" to convey astonishment. [People]
David Beckham thanked his fans getting 10 million "likes" on Facebook. Other popular Facebook "likes" include "sUmMeR :)" and "Food!" and "My friends are getting marries. I'm just getting drunk." Congratulations, David Beckham. [Just Jared]
Drew Barrymore has produced a TV version of Charlie's Angels that has been picked up by ABC. I was hoping they'd do something cool with the series, like hire David Lynch to direct it (Charlie turns out to be an evil spirit that lives in a bookshelf, the Angels are a dying hallucination of Naomi Watts, and a hapless Kyle McLaughlin finds himself in over his head trying to make sense of it all) or cast three transgender actresses in the title roles to upend popular assumptions about gender identity or make it Claymation, like Rankin & Bass's Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, complete with a sort of grumpy snowman as Charlie. Alas, it looks like they're just going the regular route- hot ladies using their stiletto heels to stab injustice right in the eye. [Just Jared]
Ryan Seacrest wants to team up with Sarah Jessica Parker for a reality TV show about fashion. I'll only watch if the show involves SJP flying around on a broom and stealing children from sartorially challenged parents, promising to return them once they stop wearing white before Memorial Day. [Showbiz Spy]
Gordon Ramsey is to be the godfather to the Beckham's baby girl. This week on Hell's Nursery. [Digital Spy]
Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian made the mistake of wearing the same dress one day apart from each other, which, is unfortunate on multiple levels. For one thing, it's not that great of a dress, because it sort of looks like Keith Harring-designed Chinese handcuffs; secondly, as everyone knows, wearing the same dress within two days of each other means that the two starlets need to battle it out in the Thunderdome. Two will enter. One will leave. [Daily Mail]
Tom Sizemore's missing ladyfriend has been found alive and well in Los Angeles. The 25 year old woman was originally reported to be Sizemore's girlfriend, but his rep says this wasn't the case, as "girls are icky." [Contact Music]
Only seven fans showed up to greet Justin Bieber as he arrived in Hong Kong. Normally, hundreds of screaming young fans who will be horribly embarrassed of their rabid Bieber fandom in ten years when they're contestants on The Bachelorette ("Something embarrassing about me? I gave myself a stroke when I greeted Justin Bieber at Cleveland International Airport." Giggle giggle.) follow him around wherever he goes. [Yahoo]
Penelope Cruz is "not afraid of aging." That's exactly the kind of comfort aging wants to lull its victims into. My friend's cousin's girlfriend once said he wasn't afraid of aging at this party, she told everyone she wasn't afraid of aging and she laughed about it and later that night when she got home she had this weird feeling that she was being watched, but dismissed it and thought it was silly and when she woke up she walked to the bathroom to take a shower and when the mirror got steamed up she saw that someone had written "WHO IS AFRAID OF ME NOW? -AGING" and then she went downstairs and there was a hook in the door. And then she thought she saw Tim Curry dressed up as a scary clown watching her from the sewer. [Showbiz Spy]

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