Meet The Cast Of The UK Version Of Jersey Shore

Geordie Shore—MTV UK’s version of the hit reality show consisting of “Geordies” instead of guidos— is indeed a thing that’s really happening even though it totally seems like an SNL parody (namely Don’ You Go Rounin’ Roun To Re Ro because it’s really hard to understand what these Northerners are saying). Judging by their cast bios, MTV stuck with the formula that works, casting Newcastle versions of Snooki et al.

Holly, 18, is obviously filling the JWoww role as her bio reads, “Holly is a girl who has one thing on her mind…and it isn’t her boyfriend Dan. In fact, whilst he thinks they’re Middlesbrough’s version of Posh and Becks, she makes sure the only pair under the spotlight are her FF fake boobs which Holly tricked her Mum into buying.”

Jay, 25, is clearly The Situation, down to pulling up his shirt and completely co-opting GTL. “Diva Jay is rarely pictured with his top on, but who can blame him with a body as buff as his? Jay now devotes 24/7 to the G.T.L. lifestyle. In his world, looking good for the ladies and partying is what it’s all about and he doesn’t mind admitting he’s completely vain and materialistic when it comes down to living life the way he likes.”

Sophie, 21, is the Snooki of the group. “Nutter Sophie is a real entertainer who loves to have a laugh wherever she goes. Despite her bright girlie wardrobe and bling accessories, she’s a tomboy at heart but has no problem dancing on tables or flashing her boobs- basically anything goes for this pint sized bundle of fun.”

And I’m not sure who Charlotte, 20, is supposed to be, but she sounds awesome. “Charlotte only ever goes out with £10 in her purse and often resorts to nicking drinks off the bar or from other people’s tables. Charlotte has woken up in some strange places including the police cells, the toilets of a bar and the roof of her house. Her favourite party trick is balancing super noodles from each nipple. She says ‘girls call me a slut, ex-boyfriends call me a psycho and my Mum calls me an idiot.'”