Lindsay Lohan Is Back In JailS

While Judge Stephanie Sautner has ruled that Lindsay Lohan's record "did not support a felony charge," that victory rings hollow, seeing as that same judge then sentenced Ms. Lohan to 120 days in the slammer, plus 480 hours of community service. Our young protagonist was immediately taken into custody. Chung-chung, Linds. [E!]

Oprah can't do everything, people. Sure she's incredibly powerful and successful and beloved, but she can't move mountains or save your soap operas. Believe her, if she could, she would: "I felt this way when 'Mary Tyler Moore' went off the air, I must say" Winfrey said, relating to the disappointed fans." So you see, folks, she knows where you're coming from. However, "There just are not enough people who are at home in the daytime to watch them, and because of that they're going off the air," she said. [TV Squad]

Because this crazy train just keeps on rolling, Charlie Sheen finally has his own app. "'The Masheen' — available on the iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad via the iTunes store for $2.99 — offers 17 short videos, a fortune teller, among other features. Approved by Apple on April 15, the application was designed in a way that allows Sheen to add new content at his discretion. Through these mobile platforms, Sheen now has a direct unfiltered link to whomever is brave enough to listen." [Reuters]

Elton John and David Furnish will be speaking with Barbara Walters on tonight's episode of 20/20. Walters has promised that all of the "big questions" will be answered: "Which one is the biological father? Why in the world did they choose Lady Gaga as the baby's godmother? And why did they take their shirts off in the delivery room?" You know, the question's you'd want to ask any parent. [People]

  • Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz have taken their relationship "south of the border" if you know what they People means, which you probably do. [People]
  • "[People want] me to be a [certain] size. I am a size six, and in the normal world, that is not fat-but to Hollywood, sometimes being a six is way too big. But when the world literally gets on you every single day and tells you, 'You're fat, you're fat, you're fat,' eventually you are going to break and agree." —Khloe Kardashian on comments about her weight. [E!]
  • Former Heroes star Masi Oka is preparing to become an even bigger nerd icon in his new Syfy show. [Reuters]
  • Is it just me or does even Fergie look seriously bored by her spring shoe line? [Coco Perez]
  • Adele has curly hair now, fyi. [Coco Perez]
  • Somehow Paul Reiser's new NBC show sank even lower in the ratings. [Reuters]
  • Is Tom Cruise coming to Glee? [Digital Spy]
  • "Mr. Gibson is attempting to stir up controversy about himself in order to promote his failing beaver movie." —Oksana Grigorieva reacting to Mel Gibson's claims that she had edited the tapes of their conversations. [TMZ]
  • Look, American Idol's Stefano Langone never even wanted to win the competition in the first place, okay? That's not even what competitions are about. [Reuters]