Russians Deny Having Sexy Space Sex

A spokesman for Russia’s Institute of Biomedical Problems says cosmonauts did not, repeat did not, ever have sex in space. Says Valery Bogomolov, “There is no official or unofficial evidence that there were instances of sexual intercourse or the carrying out of sexual experiments in space.” Bogomolov also says the cosmonauts did not drink their parents’ vodka and replace it with water, or smoke pot behind the band room. He cannot, however, speak for those dirty American kids: “As for American space exploration, well, I just don’t have the information to categorically deny that.”