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Today we learned that Glamour's new cookbook includes recipes like, "He Stayed Over Omelette" and "Let's Make a Baby Pasta." LPSB (lotus petal) shared a few of her own:

I'm no Gwenyth Paltrow or Ina Garten, but I just compiled my fave recipes.
My favorites include:

Give Me a Divorce Linguine and Shrimp
Pay my Bills Pot Roast
Take Out the Trash for the LOVE OF GOD French Onion Soup
Wash Your Stinkin Feet They Smell of Ass Grilled Cheese
Stop Bouncing Checks Pigs-in-a-Blanket
Pay Some Fucking Attention When I Speak Steak Au Poivre
Give ME a Back Massage Mashed Potatoes
Wash the Dishes, Motherfucker Broccoli Casserole
Buy Your Own Mother's Birthday Present Eggs Benedict
Mean What You Say Waffles
Say What You Mean French Toast
Go Down On Me for Hours Creme Brulee

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