Anderson Cooper has had enough. Last night he took a moment on his show to rail on everyone who has ever paid Snooki "to be Snooki" — but only after he called the Jersey Shore star "one impossibly lucky, unusually spunky, freakishly tan, beer-guzzling, juice-head hugging, muscle-loving, botero-bodied, pint-sized, money-making machine."

It was recently announced that Snooki will now be paid $100,000 per episode of Jersey Shore — or "2,857 tanning sessions" as Cooper put it — to which he added, "If you listen closely, you can hear schoolteachers around the country weeping." Factor in his fury over Rutgers paying Snooki $2,000 more than Toni Morrison to speak at the school and her $25,000 "show-up-and-throw-up fee" for appearing at clubs, and Anderson has had enough. And don't even get him started on the pouf.