Designers Now Just Overtly Pandering To Pop Stars

While perusing images of the recently concluded fashion weeks in Portugal, Thailand, and China (because that’s what normal people do in their free time rather than actually interact with other human beings), I came to a startling realization: while it’s always been the case that fashion’s had a side to it that seems deliberately strange to my untrained and somewhat plebeian eye, there’s now a subgenre of what appears to be deliberate pandering to specific pop stars.

Then again, perhaps the I’m so weird! Whee! pop stars themselves rose from that fashion subgenre. Or, perhaps they came into being completely independently of each other, and I’m just grasping at straws here. It’s entirely possible! But, before you dismiss my assessment as amateur (it is amateur), witness Exhibits A thru G.

This creation by Thai designer Fly Now is fashion’s way of urging Lady Gaga to go to law school.

Throw some glitter all over it, replace the shoes with a thick, knee high coating of mud, and top it off with a crown of broken glass, and this entry in the China Knitting Contest screams “K-E-DOLLAR SIGN-H-A.”

All she needs is a riding crop and an inscrutably serious facial expression, and Rihanna would wear this and then totally claim that she wasn’t ripping off Portuguese designer Diogo Miranda.

Accessorize this creation of Thai designer Senada with a giant inflatable candy cane that’s lit from within by a bright pink flashing light and Katy Perry’s found the perfect outfit to wear to church.

I’m not sure a girl group yet exists that could wear these ensembles from China Fashion Week and pull them off, but it would be really hilarious if Destiny’s Child would reunite and try to. Turn the middle one into a mini dress and make it just a little bit more sparkly than the others for Beyonce!