The Folks In The Sister Wives Family Are Really, Really Close

Everyone’s favorite polygamist reality show, Sister Wives, has returned for a second season, and the mindfuckery has reached new levels of weird. In an effort to escape the police investigation and unwanted media attention, the Brown family went on a road trip to Wyoming, where Kody’s dad has a cattle ranch. Kody’s dad also has two wives: Genielle and Sheryl. Genielle is Kody’s mom. Sheryl is Janelle’s mom. Janelle is Kody’s second wife. So Kody and Jenelle are husband and wife and step-siblings. Oh, also, Genielle and Jenelle are pronounced about the same. Does any of this make sense to you? Think of Teen Mom! Basically, it is its own mini-series, My Mom Is Married To My Husband’s Dad.

Genielle and Sheryl give the Browns an opportunity to do a little hard sales pitch on polygamy. See, you wouldn’t have to worry about your aging father dying and being eaten by cats or having one of those scary I’ve-Fallen-And-I-Can’t-Get-Up moments if he had more than one wife! And your mom doesn’t have to spend her days staring out the window and talking to her parakeet, because a sisterwife will keep her company! (It was definitely interesting that Winn, Kody’s dad, was seen sitting around and reading while the wives prepared food — he worked hard as a rancher, and is retired, but that doesn’t mean he’ll cook! That’s for wimmins.)

By the way: Having a sisterwife makes perfect sense. It’s completely natural and ordinary, just like a great big ol’ wagon wheel. Every spoke just makes the unit stronger. As everyone knows, wheels are round, like halos, so obviously God loves chromed-out rims. Why limit yourself to two or three when you can get 68 or 140? Where do we sign up?