Gwen Stefani felt so fat and totally uncool after she gave birth to her second son that she couldn’t find the inspiration to write new music for No Doubt. No siree, Gwen didn’t feel like she could write music cool enough for the cutting edge tastemakers who still, in 2008, were going to No Doubt concerts. [Contact Music]
Battle: Los Angeles won the weekend box office, another testament to the fact that Americans, as a Thomas Kinkade print-displaying group, don’t have excellent taste, but boy oh boy do we appreciate a good series of explosions. You might call us the Land of the Free, and the Home of the Shit Blowing Up Connoisseurs. [MTV]
Paris Hilton is feeling “broody” and that she wants to have kids with her current boyfriend. Who is going to have the unpleasant task of informing Ms. Hilton that humans and birds reproduce in different ways and that having babies isn’t the same as laying pink sparkley eggs and then going clubbing and then coming home and there’s little Razzpanzitazz Juniperberry Hilton or whatever rolling around and cooing while a nurse wipes the drool from her mouth? Because I’m sure not. [Digital Spy]
Zac Efron flirted with a girl at some party, which puts me all in a tizzy because I was sure I’d heard he’d held hands with a boy, and everyone knows that if you’re a man and you show any sort of affection to another man, auto-gay 4 ever. Sexuality is staid, unchangeable, fixed, and absolute. It’s also everyone’s business, because whether or not a ultra famous movie star is into your gender could really change your life. If only we knew the sexuality of Zac Efron once and for all, I could stop planning my life around the assumption that I will one day fuck Zac Efron. [Perez]
P. Diddy has topped Forbes magazine’s list of the richest rappers. The man is worth almost half a billion dollars, which is pretty impressive considering he spent much of the early part of his career making an “I dare you to laugh at me” serious face into a fish eye lens while Mase flailed around in the background. [Digital Spy]
Gwyneth Paltrow thinks Country Strong is the best work she’s ever done, because she had to work extra hard to prepare for it, working with an accent coach and learning how to play guitar. I’m picturing Gwynnie reverse-My Fair Lady-ing it with a gruff, beponytailed Larry the Cable Guy type. “I’d like to nosh on some seared ahi tuna and some Sauvignon Blanc and then we can go sailing,” says apt pupil Gwynnie. “No!” shrieks her accent coach, pounding on the table between them. “Consarn it, lady! You’re fixin for some barbecue and sweet tea and then we can go mudding.” “I’m fixing my early 19th century bathroom with authentic tools I found at that lovely vintage bath shop I found the last time I left my castle to go to London?” “NO!” etc. [Contact Music]
Bradley Cooper, who some of you may know as the ultra douchey guy with the sculpted hair from The Hangover but who I will always know as the dude who lovingly boinked Michael Ian Black in a surprisingly graphic scene in Wet Hot American Summer, is still dating Renee Zellweger. [Star]
Will Smith was dismayed to discover that there weren’t any first class seats available on a recent flight from Dublin to Manchester, so he chartered a whole plane. Sadly, the pregnant potential of The Fresh Prince of Aer Lingus was never to be realized. [Digital Spy]
Charlie Sheen is going on tour, and he’s selling out venues in Chicago and almost selling out in Detroit. Dear Chicago: knock it the fuck off. We’ve long ago passed the point when his public breakdown stopped being funny and started being a combination of sad and irritating, and maybe a little dangerous. Elevating someone with serious problems and laughing at them worked out terribly for those high school kids in Carrie. I’m not suggesting that if you go to see his “show” at the Chicago Theater, Charlie Sheen might burn you alive using the power of his mind, but I’d like to see evidence that he won’t. [Daily Mail]
Did you hear the rumor that Chuckles doesn’t write his own tweets? If not him, who? Mel Gibson’s more unhinged cousin, but with rabies? [Digital Spy]
D’Angelo has pled guilty to a disorderly conduct charge that arose when he attempted to pick up an undercover cop during a prostitution sting. He’s also guilty of polluting my virgin high school mind with the sin of lust, thanks to this video. [Perez]
Isla Fisher, who is not Amy Adams, was encouraged to audition for a comedic role by her husband, comedian/Borat Sasha Baron Cohen. Good on him, and how lovely that they support and encourage each other’s talents, although this is making me briefly consider recharacterizing some of my interactions; whenever my boyfriend tells me how funny he thinks I am, I assume it’s because he wants me to take my shirt off. [Contact Music]
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