Bible Bids Bye-Bye To "Booty"

Children’s giggles have forced Catholic bishops to cleanse their translation of the bible of the word “booty.” It will be replaced with “the spoils of war.”

That may be the funniest change — no solution has been found for the African country of Djibouti, though geography isn’t the U.S.’s strong suit anyway — but it’s not the only one. Lots of the changes touch on gender issues, the result of a seventeen year project by “fifty scholars and translators, linguistics experts, theologians and five bishops.”

The name of Proverbs 31:10 has been translated as “The Ideal Wife,” but has since been changed to, “Poem on the Woman of Worth.” Mary Elizabeth Sperry of the Bishops Conference told USA Today, “Women will like this: being measured by their own accomplishments, not in terms of a husband’s perspective.” That sounds sort of man-hating, Sperry. What’s next, ordaining women?

Even more potentially controversial: Isaiah 7:14 has been changed from “the virgin shall be with child, and bear a son, and shall name him Immanuel.” The new text says “the young woman,” not “the virgin,” because the Hebrew word almah doesn’t necessarily mean virgin. The passage has been taken to be foreshadowing the virgin birth of Jesus.

FInally, this one clearly has the mark of Satan — I mean, Michelle Obama and her edict of whole grains:

Leviticus 2:1
1970: When anyone wishes to bring a cereal offering to the Lord, his offering must consist of fine flour.
2011: When anyone brings a grain offering to the Lord, the offering must consist of bran flour.