Men Should Only Date Women Of Equal Or Lesser Attractiveness

Today, the relationship experts at the Daily Fail ran a piece whose message essentially boiled down to: “If You Wanna Be Happy For The Rest Of Your Life, Never Make A Pretty Woman Your Wife.” Or, in their words, “research has revealed that relationships in which the woman is more attractive than the man may be doomed to failure.” Hear that? Doomed.

While we take a jaundiced view of those participants on The Millionaire Matchmaker who demand “10s” at all costs, this finding does strike us as ludicrous. Call me a romantic, but doesn’t love, common interests, shared values and a mutual history — to say nothing of a family — conquer some? No. And the Mail has indisputable logic to back up their claims. These findings, they say, “could help explain why Angelina Jolie’s marriages to actors Jonny Lee Miller and Billy Bob Thornton barely lasted three years a piece. In contrast, her relationship with Brad Pitt, one of the world’s most handsome celebrities, has already lasted six years, suggesting she has found her match.”

So what are these findings? Allow the Fail to enlighten you.

The Stirling, Chester and Liverpool university researchers took photos of the men and women in more than 100 couples. Some had been together for just a few months, others for several years. The individual men and women were then rated on their looks. The analysis revealed having an attractive husband or boyfriend was no barrier to a relationship succeeding. But, if it was the woman who was the one blessed with good looks, the relationships tended to last only a matter of months, the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin reports. Researcher Rob Burriss said: ‘This would indicate it is the woman who is in control of whether the relationship continues. Beautiful women may realise they can afford to pick and choose, he suggests. They may also have the confidence to leave behind relationships that have run their course. ‘Attractive women might generally prefer short-term relationships. They’re better placed to move on.’ It is also possible the relationships end due to jealous behaviour from the woman’s less photogenic partner. Conversely, the less attractive women ‘may have to make do with what they have, hence the longer relationships’, he said.

Shallow bitches (which is what beautiful women are) will move on — unless, presumably, dude is really rich, right? — while plain-jane sad sacks will take what they can get. Handsome men, however, would appear to be more principled. As ever in these conversations, I’m left wondering how we’re defining beauty. If we’re talking confidence, that’s one thing, but in other respects this seems highly subjective. Anyway, if we wanted to play Celeb Bingo (which I don’t) I’m guessing we could all produce some counter-examples. Although, hell, if Jonny Lee Miller is our metric for “ugly,” I really may not know how to evaluate these things.