Jersey Shore: Shit Happens

After a few weeks of anal fixation, last night’s episode moved on to fecal matters. Unsurprisingly, this continued to involve Ronnie, who managed to make every bathroom in the house and the one at the Shore Store unusable, whether it was because he clogged the toilets with his massive animal shits or simply locked himself in the can to have a good cry. His bathroom habits were affecting the BMs of his roommates, contributing to Deena’s constipation (I have a feeling that she has the common problem of not being able to go number two in public restrooms and the inability to use her toilet at home backed her up) and almost leading Snooki to crap herself while waiting for him to finish sobbing over Sammi.

But it didn’t end there. The guys decided to take a piece of dog shit and put it in Deena’s bed in retaliation for Vinny getting cake smashed in his face.

Isn’t it weird how the guys were so willing to pick up a piece of dog shit but were being total freakazoid baby bitches about a pair of dirty drawers? Seriously, isn’t Pauly like 30? Hasn’t he ever seen a pair of panties that a girl wore on the last day of her period? If he hasn’t, then he isn’t a fraction of the player he hopes to be.

I mean, I’m sure they probably smelled, especially considering that this was filmed in July on beach-front property, which is extremely damp to begin with. But why didn’t the girls explain to the boys what that stain was? Were they so afraid of being associated with the underwear that they just played up complete ignorance? And for what? To impress the guys that play with poop and take toilet-busting steroid shits?

Say what you want about The Situation, but he seemed to be the only person in the house that didn’t feign horror at the sight of some period panties. Instead, he seemed to recognize them, saying they were Deena’s without hesitation. I kind of believe him.