Nothing Says "I Love You" Like A Gift That Says "Go Clean Stuff"

GQ has compiled a gift guide for men who don’t know what to buy the women in their lives. For your wife? How about some fancy laundry detergent! Oh, Gentlemen. I can’t wait to give you your Valentine’s Day monocles.

Technically, the list is called “Gifts Women Will Flip For,” and I’m pretty sure if my significant other were to proudly present me with some fucking expensive laundry soap on February 14th, the only flipping I would do would be of the variety wherein I raise my middle finger in his direction while scowling. No. Please. Just, no. GQ should know better.

Look, I understand that it’s the thought that counts, but if you are so unfamiliar with someone that you can’t clearly think of something that they would like that isn’t a glorified grocery, it might be smarter to just brave the restaurant crowd in mid-February rather than taking GQ’s advice. A good rule of thumb: unless someone specifically asks for fancy detergent, it is probably a good idea to steer clear of any cleaning supplies as romantic gifts, whether the recipient is male or female.