Going to a wedding, graduation, garden party, baby shower or horse race this spring? Ashro has something for you to wear!

This year, the Kentucky Derby is May 7. You have plenty of time to decide whether you'd prefer to wear the Mercedes hat, A; the Abby hat, C; the Johanna hat, E; or the Lexi hat, G. You've seen My Fair Lady. A black and while hat at the races is mandatory!

While the Keisha hat (F) is marvelous, I've got my eye on the '20s cloche — the Ruth hat (J). Now let's talk about situations in which one may wear an enormous white hat, lavish white dress, matching jacket and shoes when one is not getting married.

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  • church
  • synagogue
  • granddaughter's graduation
  • arraignment
  • party thrown by Diddy
  • late-night run to supermarket


Any other suggestions?

Please to be noting the wingspan on these hats! The frothy pink confection on the left is the Cher hat, and is a bargain at $129. It's an instant force field, since people will find it impossible to come too close to you or sit next to you at the movies. Definitely, definitely wear it to the movies, and refuse to take it off.

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Don't know what you're doing for Easter? BAM. Now you do. Strutting up and down your block in a suit with matching hat. Done.

Stuff like this just reminds you what sloppy slobs we have become. Women — and men — used to wear hats daily! Gloves, too. What do we gravitate towards now? Pajama jeans.

Backyard barbecue wardrobe dilemma: Solved.

Gazebo not included.

What shall we call pants that masquerade as a skirt? Skants? Skousers? Skalazzos?

Ashro has a very extensive wig section. My favorite is the Precious Mireille, which I plan to pair with elbow-length gloves and a long strand of pearls. Then I'll stand outside my local theater for a few days, and when asked, explain I'm waiting for Baz Luhrmann's Great Gatsby tickets to go on sale, and what to you mean they haven't started filming it yet?

The wig on the upper left is the Chaka. It feels for you. It thinks it loves you. Let it rock you. That's all it wants to do.

FYI, Ashro also offers a large selection of Afrocentric ensembles, in case that's the direction you'd rather go in. Matching headwraps!

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Earlier: Ashro: Stop Being Such A Slob And Get Yourself A Suit, Hat & Wig

Ashro: Stop Being Such A Slob And Get Yourself A Suit, Hat & Wig
Christmas At Urban Outfitters Means Getting Wasted, Shaving Your Head
Free People Inflicts Rich Hippie Aesthetic On Children

See also: All previous catalog posts