Show Off Your Christmas Cookie Bloat With 3 Hideous Swimsuits From Victoria's Secret

After the stuffed Thanksgiving turkey, caloric Christmas cookies and guzzles of champagne on New Year's Eve, what you really want to do is shop for a swimsuit, right? The Victoria's Secret swimsuit catalog has arrived just in time!

Show Off Your Christmas Cookie Bloat With 3 Hideous Swimsuits From Victoria's Secret

Designed to show off love handles and give you terrifying tan lines!

Show Off Your Christmas Cookie Bloat With 3 Hideous Swimsuits From Victoria's Secret

Awkward nipslips and retina damage from neon fabric included at no extra charge!

Show Off Your Christmas Cookie Bloat With 3 Hideous Swimsuits From Victoria's Secret

Dyed using a patented formula concoted from leftover Kool-Aid and melted Jolly Ranchers, then shredded by endangered tiger on LSD!

Show Off Your Christmas Cookie Bloat With 3 Hideous Swimsuits From Victoria's Secret

Bonus selection! Two words: Sequined. Camo.


Earlier: Post-Holiday Bloat? Tough: It's Swimsuit Season At Victoria's Secret