Today's crap correspondence comes to us not from a dude, but from a bridesmaid who told her friend she hates her fiance via e-mail. After consulting with her "power animals for guidance," she's decided to drop out of the wedding.
The future groom posted an e-mail his fiancee received from a friend weeks before their wedding on Reddit. It reads:
I'm sorry this is coming to you in email form but I need to get my thoughts to you clearly and this is the best way for me to do it. Please read what I have to say and after you've had time to think, we can talk about it in person if you want.
When you first asked me to be a part of the wedding, my gut reaction was to say no and I should have listened to myself. I feel very strongly that you shouldn't marry [Future Groom] and these feelings are only intensifying as the wedding approaches. [Future Bride], in good conscience, I cannot be a part of your wedding - I feel I would be doing both of us a disservice by standing up for you and bringing my negative energy to your wedding day.
I know this is shocking for you, but again, in my heart, I cannot do this. These feelings are also affecting me in a very negative way, the full extent of which didn't become clear to me until I had a healing session with [new age spiritual healer] yesterday. I couldn't dodge the feeling that I needed to see her yet I wasn't clear why I felt I had to. In the end, I was left with two choices - either go through with participating in the wedding with a change in attitude or bow out as gracefully as possible. I meditated on it and called upon my power animals for guidance and ultimately bowing out is the decision I have reached. I understand the consequences of my actions but I am at peace with my decision. Please know I am in no way attempting to cut of ties with you, although I understand that may be the end result of all of this.
It might be hard to understand but I mean you no harm - I do believe in ' no harm to none'. However, I keep going back to what [so-called yoga 'master'] was talking about during one of our sessions - that by saying yes to someone else when you want to say no, you are only harming yourself. Participating in this wedding is harming me in many ways and this didn't become truly clear to me until I had the session with [new age spiritual healer].
I am not asking for your forgiveness or understanding - again, I understand the full consequences of my decision. I still wish you the best for everything in your life - you have a good, kind soul, [Future Bride] and it is hurting me to see you go through with this marriage.
As I said above, we can talk in person if you want. However, I know that I will not change my mind about this. If you don't want to talk, I understand and accept whatever decision you make.
The future groom provides this background information:
She and my fiancee were friends before we met. They are both into new age stuff. I am a skeptic and an atheist. When the subject comes up, I don't assert that they are wrong and stupid, but I try to explain why I don't believe any of that stuff. It hasn't been a big deal between my fiancee and me so far.
They went to a physical trainer together, where my fiancee lost a bunch of weight. They were both considerably overweight before they started to see him, though my fiancee had already lost a bunch by dieting. Anyway, the trainer is a male model who has been on the cover of fitness magazines, etc. My fiancee of course had a crush on this guy, but he only dates the bimbo-iest of vapid bimbos. They are just friends now. He is invited (and coming) to the wedding (probably with a bimbo). We are all within a few years in age.
The bridesmaid had objections when we first started going out. They had a falling out at some point, but it is unclear what the true cause of it was.
If she doesn't get over this and come, I have to tell my brother he can't be a groomsman anymore. He already rented (ordered) his tux that I picked out to match the wedding party.
Big mess. I don't know exactly why she doesn't like me, but my best guess is that she wants my fiancee to get together with their trainer so she can live vicariously through her. This is strictly a guess. I would really like a definitive answer, but so far my fiancee isn't past the crying yet. Maybe we will find out. I will update this if I learn anything new.
Future Groom added later that they've decided to keep his brother in the wedding party no matter what, and Future Bride's grandmother may be filling in for Bridesmaid.
Telling a friend that you have doubts about her fiance prior to the wedding is certainly preferable to objecting during the ceremony, as another Redditor plans to do at his brother's upcoming wedding. However, Bridesmaid didn't actually offer her friend any explanation of why she thinks marrying Future Groom would be such a huge mistake. Ostensibly, she delivered this horrible news via e-mail rather than in person because, "I need to get my thoughts to you clearly." Yet in five paragraphs, we only learn about the various ways the wedding is "harming" Bridesmaid.
But don't feel too bad for Bridesmaid — she's "at peace with [her] decision." In fact, she wishes her friend "the best for everything in [her] life"! Apparently, just not enough to accept her friend's choices and plaster on a fake smile for five hours, or to have an uncomfortable conversation with her face to face.