Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I celebrate the new year by marveling at the fact that Angelina and Brad got married on a beach in the Indian Ocean and kept it a secret.
"How I Got Slim"
Oh, look. Kourtney Kardashian in a swimsuit, talking about weight loss. Where have we seen that before? So familiar! She says: "I was 140 when I gave birth, and I'm 95 now." And: "The first 20 pounds came off easily." Well, when you push a baby and a placenta out of your body, some weight loss will occur. Also inside: For some reason there's a spread about how awesome Queen Latifah is, not that we're complaining. She's "hotter than ever," apparently. Finally, Ashley Tisdale is the subject of "What I Ate Today" and we learn that Ezekiel 4:9 toast is the only carb she will eat. I literally yawned while typing that sentence.
Grade: F (New Year's Eve spent in snake pit)