Jersey-Chasers Go Online To Bag BallersS

Let's celebrate the blessed end of 2010 by visiting BallerAlert.com, an online groupie site "where jersey-chasing women often huddle to swap advice and scandalous dating stories."

The first thing you need to know about balleralert.com is that it's kind of a good website. I don't mean good as in "it'll improve your life," but well laid-out, comprehensive and professional. Hell, the lead story is the philosophical, "Marrying For Money: Gold Digger or Financial Planner?" These ladies are not to be underestimated: they're organized, they're serious, and they know what they're doing.

Unfortunately, what they're doing, by their own admission, is indeed gold-digging: targeting rich men and getting advice on how to bag them. In a series on the fundamentals of baller-bagging, one 'OFFICIAL Groupie' advises targeting the morons.

See, the smarter ones are on to your gold digging groupie ass. The smart ones can smell your money-hungry ass a mile away...You know the ones that can barely speak well in an interview. Yes, bitch, him! Write his name down. Google him! Start to focus on the ones who have criminal records, many baby mommas and plenty of kids, and have 'advisors' (i.e. cousins/homeboys that handle their business/money). They'll be easy to recognize cause they always look 'lost' and 'slow.'

One woman asks her fellow site-users how best to request a car from her football-player sugar-daddy.

"I would say in a very deep seductive voice, look him in his eyes and then say, 'baby you know what I want you to do for me? Buy me a 2011 (insert the car you want there). Then smile lick your lips or wink your eye and go on with your business."

"I usually do this [over] dessert or Ice Cream. Something that brings attention to the mouth [and] looks sexy."

And the site's even more Machiavellian than that, because it can also be used as a tool of revenge. Writes the New York Post, "The groupies are quick to shame, posting pictures of themselves in hotel rooms for wives to find, or revealing intimate details about someone's off-field performance." Although it should be said that this is reserved for truly drastic situations: the site's code sternly discourages displaying trophies, sneaking pictures, or otherwise incriminating or naming a blameless baller.

What's especially odd about the site is the readiness with which the women self-identify as groupies and golddiggers. I mean, it's neither ironic nor empowering if you're actually living down to a stereotype in every particular. And frankly, the athletes who involve themselves in the dynamic are doing the exact same thing (plus, it's hard to sympathize with a high-profile star who's cheating and risks exposure.)

I guess the argument could be made that this level of agency is somehow empowering. But the thing is, it's hard not to think of the readiness with which people jumped to dismiss Jenn Sterger as a mere athlete groupie and the contempt in which so many of those who accuse athletes of sexual assault or harassment are held. It's the athletic culture, we're told. And often words like "groupie" and "gold-digger" are tossed around as a means of dismissing them. So it's hard to see women embracing those terms — and without a hint of reclamation.


'Sack' Dance By Grid Groupies
[NY Post]