Welcome back To Midweek Madness, in which Heidi Montag calls herself Frankenstein, Britney digs sexual enhancement herbs, Jack Nicholson eats a sandwich and Brad Pitt is forced to wear leather pants. Come on in!
Note: There was no Ok! today, because last week's was a double issue. In a way, we are relieved.
"Shania Twain Engaged!"
Shania Twain is engaged to Frédéric Thiébaud, who is the ex-husband of her former best friend, Marie-Anne Thiébaud, the woman Shania's husband of 14 years, Mutt Lange, abruptly left her for in May 2008. Not that it matters, but Margaret and I both agree that Shania and Fred are way hotter than Mutt and Marie-Anne. The magazine did not speak to Shania, but some source saw Shania, Fred and her ring having dinner in New York, and here are some words you will find in the story: Champagne. Supercuddly. Three-carat emerald-cut rock. Swiss Alps. Picnic. Spelled out I love you in the snow. Moving on: In "Celeb Parent Matchmakers," Gwen Stefani and Angelina Jolie are plotting Kingston and Shiloh's future together — so cute! (See image 6). On the set of Jennifer Aniston's movie Wanderlust, no one was allowed within 20 feet of her. But Jen is thinking of moving to New York — "She thinks dating will be easier in Manhattan," claims a source. In other news, a source says that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds "went from speaking once every two days to once every 2 weeks." This one time RyRen went on an impromptu trip to Las Vegas with Kevin Connolly, and ScarJo was on the phone with E when she said, "What? Ryan's there?" And then became enraged. Ryan is "very hurt" about the breakup. Charlie Sheen spent last Christmas in jail, and "has no intention of behaving over the holidays." His sober coach lives with him when he's shooting his TV show, but they're taking a break from each other during this vacation time. Luxury hotels should be on red alert. Lastly: The magazine devotes space to the nine big celebrity breakups this year: Sandra and Jesse, Halle and Gabriel, Zac and Vanessa, Christina and Jordan, Jenny and Jim, Blake and Penn, Courtney and David, Eva and Tony, Stuart and Charlize. But! They also highlight the big celeb weddings this year: Chelsea, Alicia, Megan and Brian. Joy and pain!
Grade: D- (acne scars)