On last night's Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti decided to set up her friend Judith Regan, taking a particular interest in the moistness level of the media bigwig's vagina, referring to the desired effect—several times—as "juicy goosey." Apparently, mission accomplished.

For all of Patti's concern about Judith being vaginally arid, her date took her to the Museum of Sex, where Judith seemed more than comfortable handling vibrators, joking about penises and sex dolls, and even strapping herself into some kind of bondage contraption.




Weirder than Patti's obsession with comparing Judith's crotch to a wet fowl was the fact that Judith said that her dream man is Bruce Vilanch, who is openly gay ("it's dicks not chicks"). However, Patti still brought him in for a consultation.